mdhm interim report

Brooklyn, NY - November 19, 2005
My dog hates me but poses for a picture anyway.

my dog hates me (mdhm) interim report:

In reviewing the mdhm mission statement (such as it is) and quality control guidelines (no such thing) the following areas are found to be in need of improvement;

- the recent trend of absurdist posts and political commentary are not in the spirit of a self-deprecating blog about my dog hating me nor are they terribly funny or clever. Any political posts should be clever, droll, with witty double-entendre, and most importantly, apropos to mon chien me déteste ma chienne me déteste (my bitch hates me? - back to French I for me). Photo collage of my dog with cinematic stills and posters are to be kept to a minimum. D'accord? Bon.

- While the noticeable lack of focus on the subject of my dog hating me can be justified by;

a) my dog does indeed hate me but does so in a quiet fashion.

b) This 'quiet' dog-hate is inherently difficult to document with photography or with audio recording which leaves writing about it. Writing would require work and proof-reading of that work, something I'm accustomed to being paid to do. I am familiar with the term hobby but it is my understanding hobbies typically involve Lionel trains and/or stamps. I will refrain from referring to mdhm as a hobby. mdhm will remain something I do for fun. Working for free is not fun.

c) A blog, by nature, should be updated regularly, ideally everyday, and 'quiet' dog-hate such as this does not readily fit into this format (e.g. Wednesday: my dog stared at me while she shivered and hid behind a throw cushion. Thurs: my dog stared at me while she shivered and hid behind a throw cushion. and so on. you get the idea - boring). It is worth noting that a more confrontational style of relating to my dog who hates me may create more blog-worthy tension, tears, barking, biting, accidents and other excitement but this is a high-risk strategy in that it could backfire and forever ruin any chance of my dog not hating me. Success with my first blog takes a backseat to success with my first dog.

::wipes single tear from eye:: No, it's ok, I can keep going...

d) I have a job and I've been sick for the last three days. The flu sucks. The flu that makes you vomit sucks more. Sinus pressure sucks too.

these are mere obstacles to be overcome. I need to think of my first blog effort as a lighthouse in a storm - only lighthouses are boring so I'll work on a better metaphor - I think the whaling theme was a step in the right direction. 'Perseverance' is the operative word. 'Self-pity' is a hyphenated semi-operative word. 'Pee' and 'poo' are definitely operative. 'Tomorrow', 'soon' and 'good enough' are definitely not.

So in conclusion, I resolve to add quality posts that are in keeping with the mission statement and to do so on a more regular basis.*

*Unless I am sick, working a lot, or have nothing to say.