Address Of The President To The Nation

"But much of the intelligence turned out to be wrong. And as your President, I am responsible for the decision to go into Iraq. Yet it was right to remove Saddam Hussein from power." -- President George W. Bush

Translation: I lied about Saddam. I just wanted to get rid of him. I always did. The 9/11 attacks carried out by those nineteen hijackers - fifteen of whom were Saudi - put a real scare into all you chumps*. Boy, I wish I had seen that coming! Because all you slap-happy jokers* felt so violated and afraid for your safety you supported my plan to send a few troops and drop some bombs to destroy terrorist training camps in Afghanistan. So, that went pretty well, I think, even though we never did catch what's-his-name. Anyway, I got bored with that pretty fast so I took advantage of the trust all you rubes* placed in me, got our troops ready, added a little bit of shock and awe, and soon I removed Saddam from power and gained control of Iraq's oil fields. Thing is, I guess I forgot to plan for the rest of the invasion - oopsie daisy! Still, I was right.

*The American public

Update 12/19/2005 9:07 PM: Additional Translation: Just to be extra clear, by "decision" I mean, of course, that my mind was made up all along.